Dispelling some myths...
A word of advise.... Whatever ideas and stereotypes you have about China, it's girls, it's boys and it's cultural beliefs relating to adoption or abandonment of children, forget them all because they are likely misconceived. Most people seem very quick to assume that the reason Chinese children, specifically girls, are given up and adopted is that "Chinese people favour boys". The truth is so very far from that and much more complicated than most of us realize. If you really want some firsthand insight into understanding some of these things, check out Brian Stuy's blog. Brian is a guy who has three beautiful children adopted from China and although his views can seem a little abrasive, has dedicated a very large part of his life to researching China, and it's adoption world, both domestic and international. He is on a continuous quest to understand, and help us all understand, how the Chinese governement influences all of this and how the Chinese people feel about their children. His postings also provide some insight into why we, and many other families waiting to adopt are experiencing increased waiting times. I encourage you to navigate around his site and keep an open mind. The biggest myth I hope to dispell, and the message I hope you glean from Brian's dedicated research is this: While we all face different circumstances on a global scale, it doesn't matter what the country, the skin color or the culture...everybody loves their children.
Happy Easter.
2 Comments:
I read Brian's blog as you recommended, and browsed through some of the comments ... but didn't find anything which dispelled the myth that Chinese parents prefer boys to girls. Can you expand a little on why this is a myth that needs to be dispelled ?
Hi David, I'm not suggeting that the preference for boys is a myth, but I am suggesting that many people make incorrect assumptions about why that is and how comlicated those reasons are. I don't know how much you know about China's adoption world, or it's politics, but the "myths" include, but are not limited to:
- "Chinese people don't like girls"
- "Boy's are only preferred so they can carry on the family name"
- "Any boy that's given up for adoption must have something wrong with him."
- "They don't have to give up girls - they just want to".
This list could go on and on. I was writing to suggest that Brian's blog helps explain some of the very complicated issues associated with adoption in China and more importantly to help people understand that the Chinese people love their children, all of their children, as much as any culture does, and that it's as difficult for them to have to part with a child as I'm sure it would be for you or I.
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